When we try to make ourself improve, we usually start with what we want. Then we usually make a list of what we are lacking of from that list.
For example; if I were to set my mind to having a healthy body.
I would think of things I want to be doing or having, like healthy weight, excercise daily for at least 30minutes, cut back on snacks, and eat fried food less often.
Then I would look at what I am doing that does not fit that pictire. Like Oh I am so far away from healthy weight, I haven't touch that walking shoes for few months now, I ate cupcake with my kids yesterday, etc etc
And you know what will happen next. Talking down on ourself. Being critical of ourself. Shaming and not so appriciative of self.
Does it help you get to the original goal? No so much. Maybe a little. But internal voice of critical and negative talk often makes stepping forward so much harder.
What if there is a way to ease that first few steps toward your goal?
It is not magic or anything.
It is tiny little shift.
Asking "what is already here that is part of my goal?"
That is all. You ask that question in stead of how far you are from the goal you have.
Let's go back to the example I wrote earlier.
You set a goal. "I want to get my healthy body back". Done
Then, you want to think of more detail of what that healthy body look like. Like healthy weight, frequent exercise, healthy eating, fitting into your favorite clothes comfirtably. Done. Exactly the same as previous example.
Now time to ask this new question. "What is here already that is part of my goal?"
Your brain may be confused. You may not find anything right away. I don't want you to throw this questio to waiste basket just yet. I want you to sit with this question for a little bit longer. I want you to dig deeper and take a closer look inyour daily life while keeping mind what you have already that is part of your goal.
Yes you maybe far away from your goal. To make changes, you need to think or look at thing differently. Shifting your perspective from " what I dont have" to " what I do have".
It can be tiny tiny thing. It can happen to be that way once. It can be something totally random.
For example, you happened to say no to adult single scoop of ice cream and chose kids single scoop of ice cream the other day. You happened to walk extra bit because you happened to park opposit end of the parking at a store. You happened to notice that your weight have not gained for a while. Yes it is not going down, but it is not increasing.
These look silly and so insignificant. That is good sign. That mean that it is easier to repeat!!! And repeating smaller things that you can do even the life gets hard is the key.
These incidences are super important key to keep going. They are grat hints and clues to make new bigger steps in the future. Like I listed " my weight is at least not gaining now". My question to you will be "what are you doing that stopping you from gaining more? How are you doing that?"
This question maybe sounds silly and condecending. That is not my porpose. My porpse here is to dig what is working for you. To find out what changed. To dind out what is here already. So that we can find out what you can do more to progress further.
I hope this tip helped you to think differently and look differently that you will be unstack and move forward.
If you would like to help you moving forward, contact me!