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3 steps to show up the way you want for your kids.

Updated: Aug 22, 2020

In most places in USA, the school is starting back up. My kids schools in Denver are starting next week. This year, school learning is taking many different forms, part time in person, full time in person, full time remote learning, homeschooling, etc.

It can be overwhelming and might make your head spin to fully grasp what and how our kids will get education. And on top of their learning, we need to consider how we are going to make it work with your work demand, multiple kids at home, doing daily tasks. It feels so out of our control. I get it.

So here I listed 3 steps to deal with this uncertainty and going though your new journey with you kids calmly. Hopefully these steps will invite you to stay calmer and be you in the middle of this turmoil.

First, let’s take a look at what we can control. Let’s take a second to think what you can and are controlling at this moment. What do you have in your control at this moment? in a day?

It maybe how you talk with kids. It maybe how you spend next 5 minutes of your life. It maybe how you breath while you are attending what needs to be done. Listing smaller and smaller bits of your life you are in control of is better. More is better too.

Next is to describe how you want to show up to your children when school start this coming Monday. What adjective would you want to be?

Maybe energetic. It maybe calm. It maybe is positive. Maybe assuring. Whatever you would like. However you want to show up to your child. Let's describe more how it look like in day to day activity and how you would look like when you are that, whatever you described above. Who would notice? What would other family members notice when you are that person? More detail means describe what you will be doing step by step. Same as the last step, more description of how you would be is more helpful.

For example, I want to show up as a calm mom for my kids this coming Monday. I would say I am being calm when I would be taking morning cup of tea with clear mind and actually enjoying the aroma of tea. I would be sitting at the table drinking my tea while kids are eating breakfast and appreciate them instead of chugging it down at the kitchen counter. I would notice outside how bright and quiet my yard is. I would notice how much my kids are trying. I would have at least one corner of clean table surface to start their remote learning. etc etc

The last step is to notice any of these description you listed in the second step happening already even little bit. and also to notice things going well even a little bit.

For example, let's continue with what I had in step 2. So this morning, I was drinking tea with my kid. It was helpful to start the day little bit more pleasant. I wiped the entire dining room table so my kid had clean surface to do some math. (yes I am after all Asian mom who makes kids do math during summer vacation). Things going well is that I managed my frustration of having too high of expectation for my kids. After all, it is summer vacation. It is okay to just do 5-10 minutes of math instead of the entire page of math.

These questions really digs into what you want, and let you stay true to who you are. I am sure you are flooded with "what you should do" and "Strategies and methods others found useful" online just finger tips away. These information can be useful at times. And other times, it is not so useful when it does not really fit your personality, your life style, and your family. The most important is whether it is fit you and does it represent who you are because you are the one who is living your life.

Hopefully going through these three steps helped you to feel somewhat calmer and ready for the Monday.

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