When I was looking for something around the house, I could not find it because I thought it was different color and slightly different shape than I thought it was.
The same thing happens for more abstract things in life, like good relationship, kindness, and happiness. When you imagine in your head how horrible things are in your life, more than likely, you will see it and notice more.
It sounds counter intuitive because things happen if you think or not. Yes that is true. Things happen. Difference is that depending on our focus, we notice different things more than others. Our perception is always biased. And the determine factor is what we rehearse in our head and what we believe.
So of you are interested, take couple minutes to answer the following questions in your head or as you write the answers down. These are questions that help clarify what you are looking for.
What will be different when you notice things are better?
How things are different then?
How will you walk/talk/drink/eat differently when things are different?
How would you be talking to you self differently when things gets better?
What difference will these changes make for you?
Who would be around? Who would notice these changes? What would that person notice?
What would it mean to you when you and others notice these changes You made?