• Keiko Yoneyama-Sims

Solution has nothing to do with the problem

Solution has nothing to do with the problem.


When a car dings you with a light saying there is something wrong with your car, maybe headlight, engin, low fluid etc. You open the hood and analyze what went wrong. You ask yourself “where is the problem?” “why is this wrong?”. And you fix it. Maybe adding more fluid. Maybe changing bulb. Maybe call mechanic to take a deeper look at your engine.

That we learned how to “fix” mechanical problem.

When it come to human and emotion, this mechanical method of fixing stops working. There are many reasons for that.

One is that people cannot change thing in the past. Not like car parts, we cannot do-over the past. Yes, you can make it better the next time similar event happen to you. But it is not exactly the past you are fixing.

Another one is that people react different ways to the same event. In a car, if we switch to a new brighter light bulb, the car will shine brighter light, 100% of the time (unless of course there are other problem with electrical wiring. But we are not going there now).

To human, we react differently to the same event. A good example just happened in my house couple days ago.


In Denver, we had snow for the last three days. And my kids had snow day off from school. When my kids got that news that their schools were cancelled, they reacted in complete opposite way. My daughter was jolly as heck, jumping around giggling and all that. My son, in contrast, was moping how frustrated he is and how boring the day will be.

Total opposite. Like that, one event, one problem, or one solution can bring out many many different reactions from people.


So, that is the reason I wrote at the beginning that “solution has nothing to do with problem”.

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After couple years of learning and practicing Solution Focused conversation with children, adolescents, and their parents or caregivers, I started to think "hummm, I feel like this might work with Pos

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Last Updated on July 9th, 2020