Is this normal to feel this way?
Postpartum period can be an emotional roller coaster. The high is very high. and the low is very low. Feeling of overwhelm, sadness, anxious, intense happiness, euphoria... You name it you might have felt it.
There are many reasons you would feel that way.
Happy to meet your baby in person finally
Physical exhaustion from delivery, holding, feeding, etc
Loss of freedom
Pressure of keeping your baby alive and well
Other life concern, such as financial, job, family relationship
The current social turmoil, political environment, and Covid-19
I can go on and on for another mile or so. but I am sure you got the picture. It is a lot for parents. Your life has changed within very short period of time. Many aspects of your life needs overhaul or adjustments.
On top of that, society and media have painted a picture of joyful Instagram/Snapchat/picture perfect parents from the Day 1. We are expected to be something that we normally are not.
So, yes, it is normal to feel this way.
These feelings are normal responses to extreme situation you are in. It is a part of the package of "coming home with your baby". Feeling these intense feeling are tough enough. We do not need to blame ourselves for feeling these feelings because these are normal reaction.
It is okay to feel overwhelmed.
That means you want best for your baby.
It is okay to feel scared to care for the baby.
That means you care about baby's well-being.
It is okay to feel tired and not feeling 100% all the time.
That means that you are giving 100% to get through this tough time.
It is okay to feel sad and long for baby-free life.
That means that you are selfless and putting your baby before you.
You are doing a lot.
In your baby's eyes, you are the best, regardless of how you feel like.