• Keiko Yoneyama-Sims

"Everything is Awful and I'm not okay - Questions to ask before giving up"


While I was going through Postpartum period, I came across this post called "Everything is Awful and I'm not Okay - Questions to ask before giving up". It was originally published by Sinope.


It lists questions to remind you basic tasks to change mood and maybe to lift your mood.

When I saw this post, I felt like "it is such a small tasks. It won't help with how I am feeling, like nervoussness and great pressure to take care of my baby".

But I posted it on my kitchen wall next to a microwave (to see it often because I often microwave my tea, lunch, dinner, etc).

Sometime, I glanced at it and thought to my self "yeah yeah yeah, I know what I am not doing". and other times, I was convinced to do one or two things on the list. and I worked. I still works. It let me create time to be present. Now I look back, it gives me permission to take care of myself and to take time for myself. It sounds silly, but when I was at the bottom and felt really bad emotionally, I needed these permission to take care of myself, which is very common effect of depression.

It works for me. It works not only when I actually do things from the list, but also when I just read it to myself.

What would you add to this list? Something little tiny and simple and doable that can lift your mood?

Hopefully you find it helpful to you too.

Everything is Awful and I'm Not Okay;

Questions to Ask Before Giving Up


Are you hydrated?

If not, have a glass of water.

Have you eaten in the past three hours?

If not, get some food; something with protein, not just simple carbs. Perhaps some nuts, cheese sticks, eggs?

Have you showered in the past day?

If not, take a shower right now.

Have you stretched your legs in the past day?

If not, do so right now. If you don't have the energy for a run or trip to the gym, just walk around the block, then keep walking as long as you please. If the weather's crap, drive to a big box store (e.g. Target) and go on a brisk walk through the aisles you normally skip.

Have you said something nice to someone in the past day?

Do so, whether online or in person. Make it genuine; wait until you see something really wonderful about someone, and tell them about it.

Have you moved your body to music in the past day?

If not, job for the length of an EDM song at your favorite tempo, or just dance around the room for the length of an upbeat song.

Have you cuddled a living being in the past two days?

If not, do so. Don't be afraid to ask for hugs from friends or friends' pets. Most of them will enjoy the cuddles too; you're not imposing on them.

Have you seen a therapist in the past few days?

If not, hand on until your next therapy visit and talk through things then.

Have you changed any of your medications in the past couple of weeks, including skipped doses or a change in generic prescription brand?

That maybe screwing your head. Give things a few days, then talk to your doctor if it doesn't settle down.

If daytime; are you dressed?

If not, put on clean clothes that aren't pajamas. Give yourself permission to wear something special, whether it's a funny t-shirt or a pretty dress.

If nighttime; are you sleepy and fatigued but resisting going to sleep?

Put on pajamas, make yourself cozy in bed with a teddy bear and the sound of falling rain, and close your eyes for fifteen minutes - no electronic screens allowed. If you're still awake after that, you can get up again; no pressure.

Do you feel ineffective?

Pause right now and get something small completed, whether it's responding to an email, loading up the dishwasher, or packing your gym bag for your next trip. Good Job?

Do you feel unattractive?

Take a goddamn selfie. Your friends will remind you how great you look, and you'll help fight society's restrictions on what beauty can look like.

Do you feel paralyzed by indecisions?

Give yourself ten minutes to sit back and figure out a game plan for the day. If a particular decision or problem is still being a roadblock, simply set it aside for now, and pick something elese that seems doable. Right now, the important part is to break through that stasis, even if it means doing something trivial.

Have you over-exerted yourself lately - physically, emotionally, socially, or intellectually?

That can take a toll that lingers for days. Give yourself a break in that area, whether it's physical rest, taking time alone, or relaxin with some silly entertainment.

Have you waited a week?

Sometimes our perception of life is skewed, and we can't even tell that we're not thinking clearly, and there's no obvious external cause. It happens. Keep yourself going for a full week, whatever it takes, and see if you still feel the same way then.

You've made it this far, and you will make it through.

You are stronger than you think.


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After couple years of learning and practicing Solution Focused conversation with children, adolescents, and their parents or caregivers, I started to think "hummm, I feel like this might work with Pos

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Last Updated on July 9th, 2020